The Difference Between Respect and Fear
Why do some parents enforce fear in their children in order to get respect? Do they even understand the meaning of fear and respect? I was taught to respect my parents at all times even when they were blatantly wrong. It is hard for a child to respect their parents later on in life when throughout their childhood respect was enforced so harshly upon them, and when I say harsh I’m talking about physical violence, sexual abuse and so on.
I learned respect by fearing my parents. When I think about it I never really respected them because they were right in some way or because they were my parents but it was because I didn’t like the painful slap I would get or beatenings I would receive every time they were trying to get their points across. I started to feel that my mother couldn’t have been my mother and I would make up this imaginary mother that treated me like a princess and gave me so much love, and in that dream I actually respected her. I would tell myself that when I was older and bigger I was going to do my own thing and get away from them, as far as possible. › Continue reading
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Get Out or Die Trying
Domestic violence is on the increase everyday and it is also not the easiest thing to talk about if you are the one being abused. Domestic violence affects one in four women during their lifetimes. Two women per week are killed by their partners or former partners in the UK. Often, for a woman, admitting that she is being abused is like admitting to that she is weak or somehow to blame for her predicament and if leaves her with no self-esteem.
I believe at some point in our lives we have all been weak or suffered a loss of self-esteem. I have been at the violent end of a man’s fist and believe me it is not a good situation in which to find yourself, nor is it a subject for joking. It is also common for young adults, who have experienced some kind of abuse as a child, to find themselves the protagonists of a violent relationship.
When I met my then boyfriend I was at one of the lowest points of my life. I was on a journey to finding someone that appreciated me and that would love me. I wanted to make a happy life for myself and have good memories instead of the horrible ones that continued to plague me. I wanted to replace something bad with something good, so when I met my abuser—who was suave, charming and said all the things I wanted to hear from a man, I was an easy victim for the chaos he had planned. When he one day told me that he loved me, it was all he needed to say to me. I was hooked believing in his every word. › Continue reading
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What Are the Signs of Sexual Abuse?
What is that other sense that we have that doesn’t really have a name, some call it the sixth sense, and in a woman’s case it is called a woman’s intuition? Whatever it is everybody has it and everyone should listen to it. I was only 14 years old when I first started to believe in the sixth sense with which I have been blessed.
I was in high school and we had just finished our last break for the day. I went to the girl’s restroom with my friend that afternoon before heading back to class. Martina was always a quiet student who kept to herself. She never really wore fashionable clothes nor did she ever have her hair quite right and this made her an easy target for schoolyard bullies. She was teased at times and I felt sorry for her. › Continue reading
Read more...
The Difference Between Respect and Fear
Why do some parents enforce fear in their children in order to get respect? Do they even understand the meaning of fear and respect? I was taught to respect my parents at all times even when they were blatantly wrong. It is hard for a child to respect their parents later on in life when throughout their childhood respect was enforced so harshly upon them, and when I say harsh I’m talking about physical violence, sexual abuse and so on.
I learned respect by fearing my parents. When I think about it I never really respected them because they were right in some way or because they were my parents but it was because I didn’t like the painful slap I would get or beatenings I would receive every time they were trying to get their points across. I started to feel that my mother couldn’t have been my mother and I would make up this imaginary mother that treated me like a princess and gave me so much love, and in that dream I actually respected her. I would tell myself that when I was older and bigger I was going to do my own thing and get away from them, as far as possible. › Continue reading
Get Out or Die Trying
Domestic violence is on the increase everyday and it is also not the easiest thing to talk about if you are the one being abused. Domestic violence affects one in four women during their lifetimes. Two women per week are killed by their partners or former partners in the UK. Often, for a woman, admitting that she is being abused is like admitting to that she is weak or somehow to blame for her predicament and if leaves her with no self-esteem.
I believe at some point in our lives we have all been weak or suffered a loss of self-esteem. I have been at the violent end of a man’s fist and believe me it is not a good situation in which to find yourself, nor is it a subject for joking. It is also common for young adults, who have experienced some kind of abuse as a child, to find themselves the protagonists of a violent relationship.
When I met my then boyfriend I was at one of the lowest points of my life. I was on a journey to finding someone that appreciated me and that would love me. I wanted to make a happy life for myself and have good memories instead of the horrible ones that continued to plague me. I wanted to replace something bad with something good, so when I met my abuser—who was suave, charming and said all the things I wanted to hear from a man, I was an easy victim for the chaos he had planned. When he one day told me that he loved me, it was all he needed to say to me. I was hooked believing in his every word. › Continue reading
What Are the Signs of Sexual Abuse?
What is that other sense that we have that doesn’t really have a name, some call it the sixth sense, and in a woman’s case it is called a woman’s intuition? Whatever it is everybody has it and everyone should listen to it. I was only 14 years old when I first started to believe in the sixth sense with which I have been blessed.
I was in high school and we had just finished our last break for the day. I went to the girl’s restroom with my friend that afternoon before heading back to class. Martina was always a quiet student who kept to herself. She never really wore fashionable clothes nor did she ever have her hair quite right and this made her an easy target for schoolyard bullies. She was teased at times and I felt sorry for her. › Continue reading
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